UC Irvine's Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders is holding its annual Wine auction night.
Go, drink some "purple sunshine" in style and support the cause!
Check it out here: http://www.mind.uci.edu/wine-for-the-mind/
Purple Sunshine - For All Caregivers, Welcome! |
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This is cool!
UC Irvine's Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders is holding its annual Wine auction night. Go, drink some "purple sunshine" in style and support the cause! Check it out here: http://www.mind.uci.edu/wine-for-the-mind/
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For Alzheimer's patients, behavioral changes including increased suspicion, sudden mood swings and unbreakable stubbornness seem quite common.
About a year ago, before my mom was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's, we decided to take a little vacation up north in the Wine Country. The first couple of days were great. Mom had a great time trying out roasted oysters, tasting cheeses at Cowgirl Creamery, hiking up the trail to Point Reyes Lighthouse, watching the beautiful sunset melting into the ocean from our vacation spot and marveling at the noise of crashing waves right in her bedroom. I think it was day four of our vacation when I experienced firsthand the ugliness of this disease called Alzheimer's when mom's suspicion was targeted at me. We were going around wineries in Sonoma. The day was rather hot, and mom had a glass of champagne with her lunch. In the car, she complained of heat and feeling tired. In hindsight, we should have picked up the clue that was her way of saying "I need to go back and lie down." We continued on to the last winery in our itinerary. I noticed that mom did not come in to the tasting room, instead she was pacing outside by herself. Her facial expression told me that she was not too pleased. When we were done with the tasting, we got back into the car to go back to our vacation home. It was then that mom started saying "I can't believe this is happening to me" and "how could I have been so misled all these years", and so on. Mom started yelling at my dad, and started accusing me that the only reason why we brought her to "this strange place" was so we can abandon her. She was furious and insisted on calling my sister to accuse her of the same. Mind you, my mom up to this point was one of the gentlest, most loving people I ever knew. This was not her. This "new" her was someone very foreign to me, and I was horrified. I don't know how he did it, but my dad was able to calm her down. He used affirming words to relax her, and diverted her attention from hysterical suspicion to taking a relaxing bath and a nap. A few hours later, mom joined us on the patio, enjoying Dave's famous burger with cheese and hot links. She came up to me and apologized for her outbursts. I just remained calm and told her that everything was fine, and that we were so happy that she's feeling ok. We spent the last days of our vacation being a little apprehensive of what might happen next, but it was otherwise uneventful. The trip took place over a year ago, but when mom sees the vacation pictures she fondly recalls the beauty of the place we stayed and tells us how much fun she had, even though she can't recall any of the names of places we visited. Luckily, the "new person" who I met has remained there also, for the time being... One of the best things I love about young children is their emotional honesty and how their short term memory works. When my son was little he would sometimes come crying into my arms and would tell me his sister was mean to him, and that she hurt his feelings. I would wipe his tears, hug him, kiss his chest and sometimes offer to put a bandaid over his heart. In no time, he would run off to play with his sister, forgetting that she was "mean" to him.
These days, I see my mom acting much like a young child. She is brutally honest about certain things, and she quickly forgets. The other day, I was driving mom and dad back to their home from a long day of doctor visits. It was getting to be dinner time and knowing that cooking was a struggle for them both I offered to buy them take-out dinner. Dad said "No", being the very proud man that he is, for at 78 years old he still believes he should be the one taking care of everybody and not the other way around. But mom who ordinarily would just comply with dad spoke up and said, "There is nothing to eat at home and I'm getting hungry." Wow, before her Alzheimer's disease, she would never say such a thing! Well, a little honesty goes a long way. I picked up some dinner for them, and heard mom exclaim "Oh, I love these Chipotle bowls!." I glanced over at dad through the rear view mirror and he just shrugged his shoulders. Lo and behold less then 10 minutes later, I stopped the car to drop them off in their driveway and handed mom the bag containing their dinner. She asks me what it is. I tell her it's their dinner. Mom looks to dad and says to me "Oh no, I can't accept that. I have to cook for your dad. You take it." I tell her it's ok, that she's had a long day and she should get a day off from cooking. She says, "Oh, yes. It's getting difficult to cook these days. I no longer enjoy cooking anymore." I pull out of their driveway and get on the road to come home. All the while thinking, "I'm glad Dad's there, so she doesn't forget to eat". |
Author - Sharon KimMy mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It took our family 3 years to get proper diagnosis. My sister and my father who are the primary caregivers for my mom are going through extreme challenges dealing with the impact of this disease. This is what inspired me to create and dedicate 4URLOVE to all the caregivers of Alzheimer's patients in the world for their commitment, love, sacrifice and unfathomable patience. Archives
June 2011
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