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"Just look at this wrinkly skin," my 83 year old mother-in-law says. "I must be getting old."

10/12/2010

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This story comes to us from Cheryl Freeman, a lovely blonde lady and a super woman. 

"Just look at this wrinkledy skin," my 83 year old mother-in-law says. "I must be getting old." "That isn't old skin," I tell her. "It is just now getting comfortable." We have this same converstation several times a week. Sometimes we have it several times a day. Each time I issue my line she says, "I have had a wonderful life with lots of friends and lots of love." She does not remember how to take a bath or shower. She has forgotten how to work the microwave or even what a microwave is. She does not remember how to cook at all. She has forgotten names and relationships but she never forgets that she is loved and that she loved in return. She has been through rosy times and stormy times but she remembers only the rosy times. She is such an encourager telling the women in her life how beautiful they are and what pretty clothes they wear even though she does not remember their names from one day to the next. She tells the men how handsome they are and is known to still flirt with a few batting her eyes and tossing her hair around. I think of her as my wrinkled three year old, funny and sweet yet impetuous and at times a bit naughty. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers 4 years ago even though looking back we realize now that her problems began about 12 years ago. I often think that perhaps she would be in a different place mentally if we had had her assessed when we first saw the problems. We contributed much of her mental fog to grief over the loss of her husband of 50 years. As a caregiver I tried to bring her mental status back to par with books, movies, games and outings but nothing seemed to help the slow decline. She is now on 2 medications and seems to be on a plateau of sorts. She is continually hiding things which for me is very stressful since she seems to be very good at this game. Today she hid her shoes. Yes, all 8 pairs. Our house is not very big but the shoes were no where to be found and we were going to be late for a doctor's appointment. She is now sporting new shoes bought on the way to the doctor's office. The hidden ones will have to wait to be found until I can take time away from my job to look for them. Life is now, to say the least, interesting.
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Dancing your way to the shower.

10/7/2010

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One of the common challenges that caregivers of Alzheimer's patients face is the issue of hygiene for their patient.  As the patient's condition advances, taking shower or bath may become a scary event for them, and a major struggle for the caregiver.  The patient is reluctant to just take off their clothes and walk into a shower stall or a bath.  Some experts believe that this has to do with the patient feeling loss of control, and the sound of running water may be threatening to them.  I attended a local Alzheimer's Awareness event, and a director from Orange County Chapter of Alzheimer's Association was giving a talk.  One of the audience asked a question, "how do I get my mother to take a shower?".  The director had a heartwarming story to tell.  A caregiver from an assisted living facility was having  difficulty getting her male patient to take a shower.  She thought and thought, and knowing that her patient loved music decided to ask him to dance.  He slowly got up, they held each other, and she gently danced him down the hall where a warm shower was waiting for him.  With her gentle encouragement, he got in to the shower.

Sometimes when we face challenges that annoy us, perhaps we need to just ask for a little bit of creativity and inspiration.        
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    Author - Sharon Kim

    My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  It took our family 3 years to get proper diagnosis.  My sister and my father who are the primary caregivers for my mom are going through extreme challenges dealing with the impact of this disease.  This is what inspired me to create and dedicate 4URLOVE to all the caregivers of Alzheimer's patients in the world for their commitment, love, sacrifice and unfathomable patience. 

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