Purple Sunshine - For All Caregivers, Welcome!
  • Home
  • Smile
  • Cure
  • Care Tips
  • Your Story
  • Theme Song

Behavior - Hiding/Hoarding

1/6/2011

2 Comments

 
You discover that your loved one hides things. It can be anything from a freshly baked pie that was on the kitchen table, car keys, or even an heirloom silver platter.

Symptom: 
Reasons can be various. Some people have always been hoarders, while others seem to need to “hold on” to things or to “keep things safe”. It can be anything from an insignificant item such as a frying pan in the kitchen to daily essentials such as shoes.  

The level of preventative measures you need to take really depends on the importance of the item(s) and whether it relates to your loved one’s safety and well being.

 Every couple of days, my dad turns the entire house upside down looking for my mom's makeup. At first it was very frustrating for my dad, but these days he treats it as a day to go treasure hunting. Eventually he recovers mom’s makeup from the deep corners of her closet, or finds them hidden under the mattress or tucked away beneath the crevices under the sink.  We can only surmise that she hides her makeup because she values them.      

The degree of prevention depends on the significance of the item(s), as well as the importance of your loved one’s safety and well being.  If your loved one has diabetes and he or she was hoarding away candy for secret consumption, you will have to find ways to prevent that from happening.  In my mom's case, missing make up may be annoying but not harmful. 

As a preventative measure, you may want to consider designating a room with a lock where you store all valuables so your loved one can’t get in.  You may have to keep the car keys in a safe place where only you can get to. You may also want to create for yourself a reminder and pattern to check the trash before throwing it out. Your car key or your loved one's eye glasses may just be in there.

Example:

You just discovered that the pie that was freshly baked an hour ago sitting on the kitchen counter has suddenly disappeared.  When you ask your loved one whether she has seen it, you get the familiar “ I don’t know” response.

You: “Jane, the pie that was on the table is gone. Do you have any idea where it could be?”


Loved One: ”I don’t know. May be you ate it all up.”

Don’t:
 Remind her she was the only other person in the house and that you didn’t touch it.
 Ask her to recall what she has done with the pie.

Do :
Engage her in a “treasure hunt”. Ask her to go hunting with you.
Expect this behavior to continue.
De-clutter the environment and keep it de-cluttered.
Look for a pattern for items that are being hidden, as well as the location. It will reduce your frustration over time,   and reduce the time it takes to recover the item(s).
Remember that accusing your loved one may result in a drastic outcome, and should be avoided at any cost.
Give yourself time out from your loved one when your frustration level is high. Walk away and count to 200 if necessary. You need a break, even if it’s temporary.
Try to think of the humor in the situation.

One caregiver told me a story that she looked all over her house for a week in search of her
bathing suit. She even combed through that week’s trash to no avail. She suspects that her 87 year old
mother-in-law hid the bathing suit, and holds a fashion show in her room by herself sporting the outfit.
While she was telling me this story, we both laughed out loud visualizing in our minds what that would look like.   How funny is that?
2 Comments

    Being 'Present'

    Much of the information contained in this site are compilations and summaries from a variety of sources  including my own experiences and should be used as a reference only.  It is by no means  an authoritative medical reference.   

    Taking care of an Alzheimer’s patient requires UNFATHOMABLE patience.  From here on, I will refer to the Alzheimer’s patient as the “loved one”.

    Based on my own experiences, observations and feedback I’ve heard from many caregivers, I believe the following mindset shifts will empower you to be the best caregiver you can be. 

    1.  Prepare for a mind shift and accept that you are now entering a brave new world of a road less traveled.

    2.  You don’t have control over the condition of your “loved one” but you have complete control over your own reactions.

    3.  You can’t change your “loved one”, but you can change your outlook - attitude is everything. 

    4.  How you think determines what happens.

    5.  As your loved one's memory of events declines, try to communicate using emotion.

    6.  You, the caregiver, need a caregiver of your own.  
    DO NOT FORGET THIS!!      

    7.  Heard of “Don’t sweat the Small Stuff?”  Now is your chance to practice it.

    8.  If you’ve raised a child, remember what you learned from the period of “terrible two’s”

    9.  Try not to take your loved one's outbursts personally.

    10.  When all else fails, humor trumps all.

    Archives

    February 2011
    January 2011
    November 2010
    October 2010

    Categories

    All
    Agitation
    Asking The Same Question
    Behavior Issues
    California Policy
    Caregiving Tips
    Care Tips
    Correction
    Dementia
    Disorientation
    Emotional Connection
    Exercise
    Facts
    Forgetting
    Hiding
    Hoarding
    Humor
    Irritability
    Light Therapy
    Living In The Past
    Looking For A Deceased Person
    Memory Loss
    Namenda
    Old Routine
    Participation
    Relief
    Repetition
    Respite Care
    Sundowning
    Sunlight
    Vitamin D
    Walking

    RSS Feed